April 28, 2012 (Athens, Georgia) – I’m back in Athens, Georgia for the Terrapin Twilight. It doesn’t seem like a year has passed since I was here last. So much has gone on and changed in a year’s time, yet it’s wild that so much has stayed the exact same. This Speedweek Series attracts some of the best riders in North America and it feels great to just be here amongst them all.

After a 16-hour drive on Thursday the legs felt like blocks this morning. This was the same as last year, and I knew that eventhough our ride wasn’t pretty and I felt like crap during the morning spin, I thought back to last year and how I felt the same way.

One thing the guys did very well last year was to get out and spin nice and early, and I made sure this new squad followed the same routine. Oh ya…there is a big change – we have a new squad – and I came down with our new team this year.

RealDealRacing/LaBicicletta is the new team and we sent five racers down to enjoy this incredible series. Ken Ng, Logan Cornel, Tim Burton and Brandon Spencer made the trip and I feel very fortunate to be surrounded by this great group of guys. Today was the grid qualifier for tomorrow’s big event. They put on a race before the big race so guys can try to get on the front line at the Athens Twilight. They do qualifying heats all day and the top 8 riders go on to the final.

Last year I won my heat and was 2nd overall making the final where I came 3rd. It was an incredible experience and I wanted nothing more than to win it this time. There are eight riders on stage at a time, locked into Computrainers with the crit course profile dialed in, and each rider has to do four laps of the course as fast as you can. Once again this year I won my heat at 5:15pm.

I beat my time from last year and even raised the average wattage a bit (477 for 7:27). It was painful but so rewarding knowing that I had once again made it to the finals at 9pm. The second I finished I had this sense of relief but also this sense of dread that I had to repeat the feat. The sense of accomplishment was quickly replaced with the awful thought of having to go through that same agony again. I went back to the hotel and chilled till around 8pm and then made my way back to the stage. I had put myself into this position but the crazy part was that I really didn’t want to do it again.

What a mental battle.

Everything was going to plan but I really wasn’t looking forward to the pain. I tried to get up for it but it was a struggle. Holding a 195 HR and then going till you blow is tough. You only have so many of these efforts in you and I’m lazy. I knew it was all in my head. I looked the other riders up and down, shook hands, wished everyone good luck and did my best to get pumped up. The crowd was huge and the music was pumping.

I tried my best to get jacked up but it just wasn’t happining. In the warm up my legs were heavy. I did a few little efforts and didn’t like what I felt or saw as far as wattage goes. I also was having a hard time breathing the humid air. My mind was trying to do everything it could to pack things in. I knew this and was very aware that I was making things ok in my mind to quit. To quit before it even started. I still wasn’t excited to compete or go through that pain again.

That’s when I started to get mad at myself. I really started to tell myself that these opportunities just don’t come around everyday. I was on stage asking myself what the hell is wrong with you?  I looked at my team mates in the front row and I could see the way they believed in me. It was mind blowing how they were so into the whole event. I could see it in their eyes. They stood at the stage just smiling and making sure I knew they were there for me and how badly they wanted me to win. It was exactly what I needed. I needed to be needed.

Seeing and feeling this was inspiring to say the least. Even though my mind wouldn’t get up for this event “for me” it kinda switched on when there were others invested in what I was doing. It really made a difference and before I knew it the announcer was saying 10 seconds to go!!! How could I let these guys down?

BOOM!! And we are off… I knew I couldn’t hold 500 watts for 7+ mins so I didn’t bother trying. I have tried before and have blown it big time. I have gone maybe four mins tops at 500 and I was banking on a few of the guys who qualified below me to get way too jacked for the event and over do it off the gun.

Man did that happen… one min in and I was sitting in 5th pace with a 475 average. I knew that was the number I wanted and I wasn’t going to let anything the other guys did change my plan. Slowly I moved into 4th by changing nothing and then 3rd as one by one they popped. The problem was I also couldn’t hold 475 anymore and was hurting big time.

My average was dropping and it was hard to deal with. I was 477 in round 1 and now I was going below 470. Dealing with this dropping average was killing me. I sat in 3rd place for the longest time and slowly and I mean slowly creeped closer and closer to #2. When I did pass the the 3rd guy to move into number two I did it with a huge effort and paid dearly. I closed a gap with a little too much juice. Now I was the dumb one. I made it up a little too quickly and when I peeked up I saw that I was only 300 feet behind 1st place.

Problem was I was red lined from that effort. I had 90 seconds to go and only 300 virtual feet to cover. I needed Kenda’s John Murphy to blow up in the dying minute just like everyone else and it just never happened. This guy wasn’t going to blow. I watched the gap creep to 320 feet then 330 feet and I was running out of time. He was riding away. One last little sprint with 30 seconds to go closed the gap for a few seconds and the crowd went crazy but I just couldn’t hold it. The pace fell off big time with 10 seconds to go. I sat down and coasted in… I was the first loser.

He got me by 7 seconds – 3rd place last year – 2nd place this year. It was painful. I was in some pretty good distress. For a few seconds afterwards I even panicked slightly because I couldn’t get enough air. The crowd was going crazy but it sure wasn’t for me. I’m upset because I didn’t seal the deal. These kind of situations just don’t happen everyday.

To come all this way and to come so close hurts quite a bit. The good part is there are no excuses. If I had finished with something left I would have hated myself. I can sleep well tonight knowing I emptied the tank and I got beat by a stronger rider. There really isn’t any more to it than that. Big thanks to my team mates as I know 100% I couldn’t have done it without their support. I needed their love today… thanks so much guys!

Terrapin Twilight goes tomorrow. I promise to give it everything I have and you can bet I will be on the front line flexing and screaming to the heavens.

Thanks,

Ed Veal
www.realdealracing.ca